Sometimes we, as people, try to carry everything — the whole load on our shoulders. The chores, the schedules, the emotional temperature of the house, the kids’ events, the meals, the appointments, the mental lists that never end. We convince ourselves that if we don’t hold it all together, everything will fall apart.

And somewhere in the middle of all that doing, we forget that we need taking care of ourselves too.

For years, I carried the weight of it all without even realizing how heavy it had become. I thought exhaustion was normal. I thought overwhelm was just part of being a mom, a wife, a woman with a busy brain. I thought I was supposed to handle it all — and handle it well.

Then one day, during a session with my counselor, we were talking through the emotional load I’d been carrying. She asked me what chores my kids had. I shrugged and said, “You know… washing the dishes here and there, taking out the trash sometimes.” Nothing consistent. Nothing structured.

She asked, “Do they do their own laundry?”

I laughed. “No, I do all the laundry. For everyone.”

My washer is always running. Always.

She looked at me and said, “They’re 17 and 14. One of them will be doing her own laundry in a year anyway. And the other? You’d be setting him up for success. Let them do their own laundry.”

And that was it — my aha moment.

I don’t have to carry the whole load by myself.

Ever since then, every time I feel myself slipping back into that familiar darkness, I pause and look at how the load is being shared in our home — not to compare, but to make sure I’m not silently carrying more than I should. We’re all busy. We all work. We all have lives. And it’s everyone’s responsibility to help make the household run smoothly.

So this time, when that heaviness started creeping back in, I stopped. I thought about things. I asked myself what was reasonable for me to carry… and what wasn’t. I even asked ChatGPT a few questions to help me sort through it all.

Then I called a family meeting.

I said, “Hey, look — we all want this house to run smoothly. Let’s sort this out together.” I made a list, assigned things out, and asked if anyone had concerns.

I braced myself for pushback — especially from my husband and my son who’s still at home.

But what surprised me most? No one complained. They agreed they could step up.

Now, does that mean I never have to remind them? Of course not. I still have to nudge them — sometimes weekly. But the weight I carry now is so much lighter without all the other weights stacked on top of it.

I am becoming. I am learning. I am owning what is mine to own… and gently setting down what isn’t.

Because the truth is: we were never meant to carry everything alone.