Growth isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always fun. And it definitely isn’t always easy. Sometimes it looks like struggle — and I’ve been feeling that struggle lately, especially when it comes to my weight.

At the start of this year, I told myself this would be my year. I quit soda, I started eating healthier, and for the first three months, I was doing great. Then life happened, my habits slipped, and I found myself eating whatever again. I still haven’t touched a soda, but my eating? Yeah… not exactly where I want it to be.

The truth is, I love food. Not sweets — just food. Comfort food, nostalgic food, food that feels like home. And the more I dig into it, the more I’m realizing that my relationship with food is tied to old trauma… to a time when I had less, before my dad got custody of us. Food became safety. Food became comfort. Food became a bond I didn’t even know I was carrying.

So here I am, starting over again. Another Day 1. Another chance to try. And instead of beating myself up, I’m learning to give myself grace — real grace — while also holding myself accountable. Writing this out, saying it out loud, letting you all in… it helps. It keeps me honest. It reminds me I’m not alone.

Here’s to beginning again, as many times as it takes.

Here’s to grace and accountability living in the same space.

Here’s to growing — even on the hard days.